"Sarcasm is your body's natural defence against stupidity."
DISCLAIMER- The following article is purely based on the insane mumbling of a certain crazed authoress and is in no way intented to insult or demoralise any person and/or institution.
Ah, who am I kidding? Of course its meant to do that. XD
TEN COMMANDMENTS
Attention all delinquents - er- students of Army School R.K.Puram. Given below are the commandments (because rules, apparently, are meant to be broken) that define improper conduct that should NOT be followed by our students.
1) Throwing stones at fellow stuents during lunch break simply because their lunch is tastier than yours is unacceptable.
2) Please do not stand right outside the school and indulge in destructive behaviour like smoking or setting of firecrackers. Although technically, by standing one meter away from the gate, you are out of the school's jurisdiction, anyone with a modicum of intelligence can make out that the moronic wannabe in the uniform belongs to said school. Also, you may learn that punishments are just as troublesome outside school as inside.
3)Kindly refrain from writing and/or scratching on your bench, whether it be your name, your friends' names, profanities, random symbols or names of your favourite music band. The school in no way wishes to interfere with the students freedom of expression or creativity but asks that it should be confined to appropriate medium like the back of your maths notebook, or your English class.
If however, by some miracle you desire to scribble your class notes, you may do so.
4) Students should learn that the last thing a birthday boy wishes is to be converged upon by a mob (much like bees after honey, or girls in a clearance sale) and be kicked to death on his own birthday. We are sure you appreciate the irony, but it is still unacceptable. It is far more appropriate to express your happiness for him through a mild handshake, or by stealing the lucky guys food.
5)It is inappropriate to ask permission to visit the toilet in the middle of class, walk up to the farthest toilet on campus and then turn your back on it and loiter. If the poor toilet itself does not feel offended, the people who work hard to clean it certainly do. Next time, if you have a sudden craving for fresh air, tell your teacher that you're suffering from a sudden attack of 'study-o-phobia'. It is certainly more plausible than an abrupt lapse into acute diarrhea.
6) Proper uniform A- Girls are requested to pull their duppattas down to an appropriate level. Female students should remember that these are duppattas, and NOT neck scarves.
7) Proper uniform B- Boys should wear trousers at appropriate waist levels as failing to do so permanently damages retinas and results in emotional scarring. Yes, seeing pants that are about to drop of is as bad as actually watching the pants drop. Worse, in fact, due to the suspense.
8) Kindly do not shout loudly when passing through the subway. Do not worry about alerting anyone coming from the opposite direction. The mirrors have been installed for that very purpose, as opposed to the popular misconception that they are there for the benefit of your appearance. It is not so.
9)Students are to keep in mind that the M.I. room is that small for a reason. Even if a sudden plague of headaches or multiple cases of stomach ache do coincidentaly occur among your set of friends, please refrain from crowding in the M.I. room. It is inevitable that it would start looking like the not-so-secret base of a bunch of chronic class bunkers. You can't blame the authorities for getting suspicious.
10) Students of opposite gender are FORBIDDEN from straying within a one metre radius of each other. Whats that? The stairs are only a few feet wide? Very well then, you may maintain a single file with a gap of two feet. Oh, and please do not strain to make yourself heard (i.e. shout). You may ask a teacher to pass on the message. At the teachers complete discretion, of course!
If any student fails to obey the above commandments, they shall undergo one of the following punishments-
a) Spend an entire day locked in a tiny cell with (former) Principal Rama Devi. ( enjoy the fragrance of rebellion! *evil snickers*)
b) Spend one day as Arun sir's personal assistant (i.e. the vent for all his frustration at his own shortcomings). Oh, wait, that would be the captains wouldn't it?
c) Be locked in a cubicle in one of the school toilets for over two hours (horror of horrors)
By the authority vested in us (by ourselves),
The Powers that Be ( now with an extra suspension-at-the-drop-of-an-hat ability!)
Oh yea, total insanity. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
